Tin Foil.

 As little girls we are fed fairy tale stories of knights in shining armor that swoop into our lives on a gilded white stallion, slaughter a vicious creature that holds us captive against our will, and whisk us off to a fairy tale kingdom where we are made into princesses; consequently gifting us with an answer to every wish we've ever made and every dream we've ever imagined. We are told that all of this is going to happen not because we've worked extremely hard to contact said knight in shining armor and get him to rescue us, but simply because we are female and we deserve to be some fairy tale princess with an epic love story.


Unfortunately no one tells us as little girls that this is all exactly that: a fairy tale. No one tells you that a relationship takes effort on both sides, a ridiculous amount of energy, and that you're knight in shining armor is more likely a man in tin foil driving a Gremlin. I hope that my littles learn this sooner rather than later, but I'm not going to be the one to burst their fairy-tale bubble. They'll learn in time through trial and error, their hearts will get broken and they will heal, and eventually they will find that knight that sweeps them off their feet and whisks them away to a magical land of unicorns and rainbows. Until then I can only guide them, love them, and keep them safe in my arms. Until then I can only hope that weeks like the last few weeks will be enough to keep them happy and glowing.

We had a great birthday party with family and a few friends. The girls (and boys!) loved the masks and we even got a few on the grown ups.

                                               Papas make the best picker uppers!

                                                                   Big slides + little girls make the best pictures

                                                    New found friends make for the best storytelling times

                                                                " Punkin"   as Seraphina says

                                  Punkins, boogers, and blue eyes..... OH  MY!

I'll keep them as young as I can for as long as possible. Fairies, dragon, knights in shining armor, and evil witches are going to be a mainstay in our house for a long time. When the time comes for their prince charming to choose a different princess I'll be here to pick them up, wipe their tears, and send them out into the kingdom to find another. Until that day, Prince Charming is going to just have to deal with the shining armor, cause I don't care what's chafing where, it's not going anywhere.

As for this Cinderella, it would appear she has a castle to scrub, laundry to do, and clothes that need mending. These 3 little witches are a lot to keep up with. I hope you all had a good weekend.

Ebb and Flow.

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures."
                                                                                                            ~William Shakespeare


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If this man had any idea the effect he was going to have on the world, I'm not sure he would have written half of the things that he did. His words have been printed in every language under the sun in a million different versions' his stories have become the bedtime fairy tales for teens, and he still ignites a passion in my soul that few can rival. In this specific instance, he is so very right. Lately there have been many questions, and even fewer answers. We have sheltered as long as possible but the time for shelter is coming to a close. It's time to stem the tide, and let the truth do what it does best. 

I filed for divorce in August. I did not do it to spite anybody or hurt feelings. I did not file to ruin a persons life or to make things more difficult. I did not intend to turn friends into enemies, or pit parents against one another. I did it because our family cannot survive in the current state it is in. Despite efforts on both sides, it is just not something that I feel we can work out. I don't expect anyone to understand why I made the choice I did, I simply ask that they respect it and support our entire family emotionally in a time when every member of this family needs support. For now I know there will be many more questions, and I do not have the answers to them as of yet; I assure you that when I know how to answer all the questions that are flying around I will answer them. For now, patience and support folks. If you are so inclined, we could use your prayers as well. 

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Whew! Got that out of the way! On to happier subjects! Like babies with tootsie pops

She fell asleep on the way home with the thing in her hand, it was like superglue by the time I tried to peel the paper out of her fingers. Even funnier, when the gentle tugging woke her up the first thing she did was stick the silly thing in her mouth like there was still going to be some candy on it. Sister loves her some snacks!

 This little munchkin melts my heart. Her peals of laughter when you tickle her back, the slight snore when she's really really asleep.

 This sister got her first mani/pedi last Friday night. The little giggles she stifled when the sweet lady was scrubbing her feet with the pumice block were absolutely priceless. We got to spend a few hours just hanging out together, doing girly things and talking about life. She's in love with a boy in her class (gulp!!), is excited to finish reading the Percy Jackson series, and she's a little anxious about school in general. After a few hours of girl talk and mommy/Mei time we ended up with this:

I won't tell you what our fingers look like after a few days of life, but our toes still look awesome! After our little outing, we decided we were hungry. Sister will do just about anything to get her fingers on Chinese food, so we indulged. A lot.

                                                 And we loved every single bite of it!

The past few weeks have been a trial for all of us. Many tears have been shed, questions have been answered, decisions have been made. Amidst all of the trial and tribulation we have one very important and awesome thing to look forward to:

Birthdays are big deal around here, but I have a feeling this is going to be our most awesome birthday yet. We've ordered masks, we've got a cupcake tree, we're picking out outfits and planning what type of jewelry to wear. The box that we ordered from Oriental Trading arrived earlier this evening, and mama sure needed that box. It's been a particularly rough few days and those smiles were epic. The girls spent about half an hour running around like madmen in their new masks. Mama spent half an hour with the dorkiest grin on her face chasing littles around. Tonight? Tonight was good. Hard to imagine that tonight was only a taste of the memories that will come in just a few short weeks.

 Speaking of memories..... On September 20th the world welcomed a new little blessing. Little Matthew was born at 4:00 on 9/20/11. He has his mommas face and his daddys ears!

 He's quit the little man. He was a big surprise to everyone, but he's so precious. Life doesn't always go the way you had planned and you can do one of two things: flow with the tide, or fight the current. More often than not the harder you fight the further you slip under the crashing waves. It doesn't really make sense, but then again most of life doesn't. You roll with the punches, take it as it comes, rise above. Whatever cute little euphemism you use it all turns into the same thing: you flow. Eventually the tides recedes and you're left standing on your feet. It's not easy to lay back and let life hold you up, but fighting is pointless. You're better off closing your eyes and feeling the rush of the cool salty water flowing beneath you. Tonight, I will float.

I'm off to finish more of this:

   

Wish me luck. Happy early weekend everyone. 

Seasonal Attire.

 I guess it's that time of the year again. The season to start thinking about Halloween costumes and carving pumpkins. The time of year when the leaves on the trees start to show hints of those gorgeous fall reds, oranges, and russet browns. It's the time for school to start and time for life to resume a decent amount of routine and expectation. I know most of you will think I'm crazy ... but I can't wait for fall I (and these ridiculous tights that I'm DYING to order!!!). I'm an Oregonian (not so much born as raised) and as much as I love me some 90 degrees Fahrenheit... I hate air conditioning. The whole recycled and partially artificial air thing just doesn't do it for me. I'm gonna miss the lazy bbq's in the back yard and babies running around in diapers. I'm positive that in 4 months I'm going to find myself cursing this drizzly Oregon landscape and dream of moving to some far off tropical island; however the truth of the matter is that I love it here.

I love falling asleep at night with my slider open breathing in the mixed smells of rain and fresh cut mint. I am absolutely in love with driving home after a long day of work and seeing field after field of hay and corn waiting to be cut, and spur of the moment drives to the coast to witness sunsets like this:

I know that someday I will eventually move away from this little hole in the world, but for now we're dealing with little changes. One step at a time baby.

With school starting this week Mei and I were able to sneak away for some "Mommy/Mei time" as she calls it. We took off to the mall for some rockin' new school shoes and found these super cute gems on sale with coupons (of course, cause you just know I'm totally loving this crazy coupon lady gig!):

 

A pretty good deal for $60 bucks! And what's a trip to the mall without ice cream?? OK, so we settled for frozen yogurt with toppings, but Mei didn't need to know that minor detail. We even managed to get in for an appointment with one of our favorite stylists, Becky, and someone finally got those "stripes" she's been talking about for months. 

 

Please, please, please ignore my disgusting floor!

 Our first day of school looked something like this:

Sister totally rocked those silver Chuck Taylors! Loralai already has a pair that have bright pink shiny stars on them, now all we need to do is get Seraphina a pair. Ha ha.

We also managed to sneak out last week for breakfast. We don't get to do super fun things too often, so when we get the chance I like to take the girl to this little place we have in town. It's a super small little restaurant in downtown Indy, but the place has some killer food (not too bad on the wallet either!). I would love to say that we had an amazing breakfast and that I can't wait to do it again, but believe me when I say that breakfast with two toddlers is not something I plan to try again anytime soon. I'm not sure who I felt worse for: the waiter, the cook, or the girls (especially Mei since she loves these morning breakfast escapades). It all started out good until i opened their sippee cups to find that Mei had tried to be helpful, but had filled them with whipping cream instead of milk and I had no where to dump them out.... then came the fight over the syrup.... followed all too quickly by the glass of ice water in my lap. Next time we're doing waffles at home.....

This valley has a ton of well hidden little secrets that only the locals really know. Andy's Cafe is one of them, another is Gillespies Meat Shoppe in Salem. It's not exactly a tourist attraction, the floors aren't always spotless and sometimes the people are on the strange side, but the butchery is awesome and the produce is always fresh and local. I try to make it in every so often to see what they have on the shelf. I usually make it in every 2 or 3 months to do our usual $200 for 50 pounds of beef thing but I don't make it in as often as I 'd like to. I think I'm going to start trying a little harder. Change, it's not always a bad or scary thing.

It's hard to believe how fast things change. "Don't blink, 'cause just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife. Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think, so don't blink." Ugh, so true. Totally became apparent this week when it came time to move some rooms around. Loralai busted her toddler bed so we decided it was time to put her in a big girl bed. No problem, right? So wrong. With the dresser, a toddler bed, a twin bed, and a rocking chair crammed in one tiny little room it became apparent that something needed to go. So this happened:

 
To those of you that have never been in this position, this looks like it should be no big deal. Trust me, it's a big deal. I think i spent about 1/2 an hour staring at this stupid chair in this d*$n closet trying to fight back the flood of emotion that I could feel building. I finally gave in and sat down on the new twin bed and cried my heart out for 45 minutes. They're growing up, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. All I can do is keep them safe. Coddle them, love them, provide for them. I need to earn their respect, and teach them how to earn respect for themselves. I can keep them home, I can keep them inside, I can do everything in my power to keep them safe; but I can't keep them in my arms forever. I think that's going to be my most difficult challenge and biggest change, learning to let go of my littles when there are no longer little. They'll always be my littles, even when they are too big to fit in my lap.


Well. I'm off to enjoy some fun mommy time with some dear friends that I am also fortunate enough to call family. Enjoy the weekend everyone, try not to work too hard :)