Bounce.

Time is tricky. Some days seem to last for months while others seem to pass by far too quickly.Sometimes I look at the person I was a year ago and I realize just how much has actually changed, both with me personally and with how my life is changing. I never dreamed I would be a single mother at 27 with three little girls. I figured by now I'd be done with school and telling hopeful parents that their children would be able to grow up and live happy lives. I use to be so pessimistic. I'd look at a beautiful starry sky and see a galaxy of exploding disaster, a solar system full of trash that we as a race have managed to place there. When I look at the stars now I see them for the beauty that they truly are. A never ending expanse of wonder that is still so unknown, and yet unknowingly amazing.

Then again, sometimes I realize how little is different with me than it was 10 years ago. Some things will never change, they are who I am. I still hope and dream. I still have goals and aspirations.  I want to kiss someone under the Eiffel tower, I want to play in the ocean on the shores of Italy.  I want to stand under a starry sky in the middle of China and discover constellations I've never seen before. I want to feed a starving child in the depths of some third world country and relish in the satisfaction and awe at something so amazingly small that so many take for granted. Above all else I want to live life to the fullest, and I will. 

My mother once told me that when I was a little girl wandering around, I would bounce. I had a spring in my step and a smile on face all the time. I see that in the three little blessings that have graced my life with their presence. Somewhere along the line I lost my bounce, and my smile appeared less and less as time went on. I see that in them too. I know that eventually their dreams of princes and castles will fade, I'm just hoping it takes a little longer than mine did. I want them to hope, dream, and thrive. I want them to bounce. Better yet, I want to show them how to bounce.

 

I think where I'm trying to lead this is that life is what you make of it. I may never get to Italy, and I'm quite sure I'll never make it to Africa. Somehow, I'm OK with that. I don't live in a mental place of grandeur of fake reality, but I remain hopeful and optimistic. When push come to shove, you can choose to happy or sad. As for me, I'm off to enjoy an awesome weekend full of bouncing and happy. I hope you all get the chance to enjoy some of that this weekend too.